I’ve been noticing a tiny yellow spider on my calendulas.

She perches herself on a petal and waits for a bee to fly near enough to sting her. The bee is instantly paralyzed. Then she eats it…

I know it’s nature at work but I hate that spider for killing bees. It breaks my heart when I find a bee, dead on a flower, because she’s been stung by this tiny yellow monster.

Last week I got stung too, on a toe.

At first it was just a small white bump that itched.

I tried to wrap plantain around my toe but it didn’t help which surprised me; plantain can stop the pain from a a yellow jacket sting in seconds.

I didn’t think much of it until I went to a tam-tam jam this weekend. I danced all afternoon — learned African dance, I’m hooked!

When I came back home late Saturday night, my toe was swollen red and the inflammation was spreading up my feet. 🙁

I wanted to avoid antibiotics at all cost (modern medicine’s go to for pretty much everything), so I turned to plant medicine.

Luckily, my herbal apothecary is well stocked. And as a Herbalist, I have some of the best Materia Medica on hand.

I’m also surrounded by women who are deeply connected to the medicine of the earth. I was in good hands.

I concocted a protocol of natural antibiotics (Cryptolepsis sanginolenta, an antibiotic and anti-bacterial so powerful it has been shown to clear malaria more effectively than Quloroquine).

I drank strong herbal infusions, made clay cataplasms, used essential oils…

I was able to shrink the inflammation to a localized area but 5 days into it, I still couldn’t walk. And my toe was still swollen.

The next day I woke up angry, about to loose hope in herbal medicine and in my inner healer.

Wasn’t this supposed to work? Was plant medicine not working for a stupid bug bite?

I was about to give up and go to the clinic except, the only clinic in the area wasn’t taking patients.

“You’re on your own lady.” 

I felt like crying and a little hopeless but had the intuitive nudge to pick up a bottle of Sacred Heart, a flower elixir by Lotuswei.

I put 5 drops on my tongue and to my surprise, IMMEDIATELY felt my heart open and optimism fill my being.

“Wow, this is amazing!”

With newfound hope and optimism, I landed back into my power.

Then I heard: “You are the medicine.”

I used it as a mantra to create the sacred space for my healing.

“I am the medicine. I am the medicine. I am the medicine. I am the medicine.”

Friends came over to cook delicious organic salads for me and brought me epsom salt to soak my foot in. They helped me make a potato poultice (who knew!!??) and then FINALLY, I had a toe breakthrough.

I won’t share photos (it’s pretty disgusting) but “stuff” started to come out. 

Finally! Momentum in my healing! The plants WERE working, I just couldn’t see it yet…

When healing seems like it will never happen, let’s not forget…

… the innate intelligence of the body 
… that the medicine is within
… that healing happens on the body’s own timeline, not our ego
…that there is almost always a healing crisis before full and complete healing
…that a community of Soul Sisters will do wonders for the spirit 🙂

I will never know what actually stung me although I like to believe it was that tiny yellow monster of a spider.

But I do know this: it’s crucial to have tools, inner resources and knowledge to be sovereign in our healing. 

It doesn’t mean we don’t turn to modern medicine when needed.

But it does mean we need to be empowered on our healing journey.

I hope that you have such tools, inner resources and guidance you can trust on your journey to healing your skin. It makes a world of difference.

Never forget:
You are the medicine.

Caroline Dalia Kaliani